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Tribute To An Angel
by Maggie |
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Twenty-two months ago I lost my eldest son James at the
age of thirty two. Within a week of his funeral I was back at
work, thinking that the sooner I tried to get things "back to
normal" the sooner I would I would recover from the grief
and heartache. Even though there were days and nights
when I did nothing but cry somehow I buried the horror of it
all. My job was extremely demanding emotionally so I had
to forget the pain at least in the hours I was at work.
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Naturally, it caught up with me and in a very physical way. I
developed breast cancer 6 months ago. It was a Grade 3
cancer and particularly virulent. The large hospital that I am
attending for treatment is doing a survey at this very
moment on the relationship between stress and trauma
with cancer. Once again I tried to bury any kind of reaction
but eventually it all became too much for me. Not only was I
battling with the devastating side effects of chemotherapy, I
was trying to cope with full on depression. I felt like I was
going to die and I truly wanted to. It would have been so
easy to join James and forget about all my suffering and
the suffering of the world in general.
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Then along came a very special friend. Somehow, without
me even telling her, she knew exactly how it was for me.
Even though my friend leads a very busy, full life, she found
time to write to me and did so almost every day. She sent
me the most wonderful letters full of love and
encouragement. Sometimes I would get letters that made
me laugh so much and other times I would receive full
pages of prayers written just for me alone. These prayers
were incredible. She prayed for every part of my body and
my soul. My friend gave me faith, hope, laughter and joy and
they are such important things to each and every one of us.
We cannot survive without them. Just to know that how I felt
"mattered " to her lifted my spirits. She has inspired me to
try to carry on her incredible example of love and
"goodness."
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This friend, who is also a bereaved mother and knows the
pain like no other, also explained in perfect detail the
stages of grief that I would be going through. She made me
see things in a new light and I realized before receiving the
knowledge of her own experiences, I had not been able to
see the forest for the trees. It is all so clear to me now and
the days have become so much easier to bear. I seemed to
be in such a rush to come to terms with my grief, but it is a
very subtle change and takes time.
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I have just about come to the end of my treatment with a few
more weeks of radiotherapy to come. For the first time in 22
months I am glad to be alive. I feel love overflowing in my
soul. I feel also that HOPE has the greatest potential to
heal, and my friend gave me that along with her unstinting
time and love. Hope improves a personžs quality of life and
definitely aids in the healing process, whether it is a
physical illness or from the loss of a very dear loved one.
As Emily Dickinson so poignantly wrote:
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Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all.
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I am writing this to not only thank my friend, but to make
readers aware of the power of friendship and also that of
prayer. I am so very grateful to God for sending me a
"special" Angel in my time of greatest need. I have found a
poem to express what she has given me.
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The Healing Within |
In wisdom, Providence allowed this illness,
To open wide the windows of my heart
Wide enough that Love might come into the stillness.
Like a butterfly, Love landed by my side.
Imperceptibly, as if in a chrysalis state,
I saw its colors beautiful and clear:
Blue, green, yellow and even slate.
Love bade me let go of all my fear.
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Love suggested surrendering the past;
To see this as a sacrament of hope and healing,
Happiness, like a tiny lotus flower, came at last.
Wistful first, then quite wonderful, this feeling,
This surging tide, this energy wherein the Kingdom dwells.
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(Written by Paul Kraus) | |
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Maggie had wished to mention the friend's name but the
friend has asked to remain anonymous. Maggie closes her
note with "I love you my friend and thank you so much." My
friend will never know (but God does!) just exactly what she
has done for me. I thank my "Special Angel" with all my
heart, for her love, kindness and her GOODNESS.
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story by Maggie
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Perfume of Hope
by Dee Ann E.L. |
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Whenever I smell the perfume of a spring fed lake, it takes
me back in time to a place long ago. Where discovery of life
was my job of choice and the echoes of the lake loons my
voice. Every new day offered a mystery to solve. My sister
and I were dedicated and on the prowl, following a turtle to
where she laid her eggs. Waiting patiently for months to
see the marvel of life exploding out of the earth and their
race to the water. We mothered orphaned raccoons making
the kitchen our laboratory mixing dozens of different
formulas to duplicate nature. I remember how their fingers
were like that of little human beings holding onto us as we
fed them out of baby doll bottles. Out of three we lost two
but our mother was proud at our determination for she said
without us there would have been one less raccoon in
Wisconsin.
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Fishing was our mainstay of entertainment after mud pies
and baby dolls. As very small children we learned what
patience can produce. The thrill of the catch and the
delicious treat at the end of the day was a wonderful part of
our life back then.
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Watching the seasons change and the wildlife around us
taught us to appreciate all of nature and mother earth.
Caterpillars to chrysalises to butterflies, birth, death, and
the wrath of nature at it's very worst forever engraved an
image in our minds. Tornadoes ripping trees from the
earth, bobcats at our front door when the cold winter froze
the lake and the island creatures ventured forth, taught us
to be prepared for anything so we could survive.
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Our father was gone a lot so our mother showed us how
strong women can be by making games out of every
misfortune. Making a banquet out of odds and ends and
lighting candles. Pretending that it was our choice and not
the fact the electricity was out and so was our father. Our
dad was so different from our mother. She was outwardly
loving and affectionate. He had been brought up to mask
his emotions and by doing so he would be strong. We
knew he loved us but we had to be quick to catch his
smiles or that special look in his eyes. He taught my sister
and I to be good sportsmen and only take what we needed
so nature could replenish and so could we. His heritage
meant a great deal to him and in turn he instilled in us an
inner pride that to this day still resides in us.
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Even though my parents are now gone from this earth, we
truly are part of them and for what it is worth, my sister and I
are who we are today because of those two people and
what they had to offer. Looking back at the past and
nature's lessons has helped my sister and I not be
heartsick for long when something dreadful befalls us. All
we have to do is go to a lake, take in the perfume, renew
ourselves as well as remembering that we are part of this
remarkable world and that we are remarkable too.
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By Dee Ann E.L. Horvath
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Dee Ann says, "I have always been a creative and artistic
individual who loves to write. I love life and meeting people.
To me every person is a novel waiting to be read, some are
better than others are but there is always something to be
learned. In the last year or so I have taken up poetry. It
helps me to sort out my thoughts. I find it is an excellent
outlet for stress and best of all it leaves a lasting
impression. Now I have started writing short stories about
things that made me who I am today." | |
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A Voice of Authority
by Brenda |
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My younger son was constantly sneaking out of bed to play
on his computer, an old TI 99 many years ago. He would
not want to get up to go to school. One morning as I was
having my coffee and contemplating my day, I heard a
strange man's voice come from upstairs where my son and
two daughters were still sleeping. The voice was saying
things like, "Get Up, Get out of bed Punk! Get Up, Get out of
bed!" You can imagine my bewilderment as I rushed
upstairs to find the computer speaking to my son!
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There he was awakening from a deep sleep to shut off his
computer with the new voice synthesizer.
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Brenda McIntosh
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A STICKY SITUATION
by Lisa Marie Nelson |
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We have a special bond with our next-door neighbors, the
Levines. From the day they moved in, there's been this
unspoken understanding that we would always be there to
help each other. My younger son, Brian, and their middle
son, Aaron, are just months apart in age, and almost
instantly became best friends. Sue and I are always driving
each other's kids everywhere, and Sue's husband, Fred,
has coached the boys' basketball teams.
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Coincidentally, my older son is also named Fred, though
he goes by his nickname, Freddy. Since Freddy has been a
member of the Fred Society since birth, I got Sue to sign
her Fred up for the club as well.
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(http://www.fredsociety.com if you're interested!)
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Sue and Fred have three children. Besides Aaron, they
have a daughter, Rachel, who is about Freddy's age, and a
younger son, Ryan.
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One summer, when Ryan was about 3 years old, the
Levines were busy landscaping their backyard to include a
swimming pool. Since a big hole of dirt could be very
dangerous for a toddler, Sue was very careful to keep Ryan
inside with the doors locked while the workers were there.
Of course, the big hole looked pretty inviting to Ryan, and he
wasn't real happy with his mother's precautions. So, one
day, when Sue was in the backyard talking with the
workers, and Aaron and Rachel were looking at that big dirt
hole, Ryan saw his chance to get even. He closed the
sliding glass door behind his mother's back, and locked
her out of the house with his brother and sister!
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Try as she might to get Ryan to open the door, he refused.
He probably felt pretty smug knowing he had the house to
himself and that there was nothing his mom could do
about it!
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Without keys or a cell phone, Sue naturally came over to my
house for assistance. She wanted to call Fred to come
home from work and unlock the door. When my Freddy
heard what was going on he just laughed and said: "I'll get
him out!"
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Sue and I just stood by and watched as Freddy dialed the
Levine's phone number. Ryan answered the phone. Freddy
said, "Hey, Ryan, it's me, Freddy! Can I come over and
play?"
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Ryan said: "Yeah, sure."
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Then Freddy marched over to the Levine's and rang the
doorbell. Ryan answered and let him in. Problem solved!
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Isn't it nice that we can count on our neighbors, and our
kids, to get us out of some of these sticky situations?
These people are truly a blessing in our lives!
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-- Lisa Marie Nelson
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Lisa Maria has a book out: "Getting There! 9 Ways to Help
Your Kids Learn What Matters Most in Life" and a web site:
www.brightideasproductions.com
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Esther: A Breath of Fresh Air
by Kay |
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My hero was a wonderful woman named Esther Dames.
Esther came into my life when I was about 15 years old, I
happened to be looking for my mother at a candy shop
where she worked part time dipping candy by hand. Esther
came into the shop to purchase some candy and chat a
moment with my mom. She spied me standing beside the
counter and demanded of my mother the name of this child
shyly standing there.
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Now my mother had known Esther for about 2 years and
never bothered to take me to see her. Esther didn't even
know mom had a girl. Well this great woman whom I will
describe is probably one of the most memorable
characters the town of Geneva has ever seen.
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Esther was a full blooded German, tall for a woman, heavy
with beautiful white hair , which was worn on top of her
head or pulled back in a bun that was always falling out.
Her skin was as white as alabaster with wonderful rosy
cheeks a deep voice which I must say scared the willys out
of me when I first heard her speak. she had a voice I
learned to love with all my heart.
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Esther was a woman who meant more to me than my
mother, a woman that took a scared little girl and showed
her the way life could be.
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Esther always wore black, black sandals sort of like a shoe
but all year long, a long black dress with a matching coat.
When she went out she topped this outfit with a gorgeous
tulle and chiffon hat that was very large to fit the woman
wearing it. Not many women could carry off wearing this hat
like Esther did. What a magnificent sight she was, wearing
her two strands of pearls , a huge ring and this huge
handbag she always carried.
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My mother became so jealous of Esther taking me under
her wing she barely spoke to her again. At the time I didn't
understand why mom wouldn't talk to her.
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Oh how this woman cared for me. She took me to Chicago
to see artists at work she knew. She also bought me a
wonderful black onyx ring done by an artist that I met. I have
the ring to this day.
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She took me to the art museums in Chicago thereby
bringing the love of art even closer to my heart.
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I was always her angel girl. She took me to "The Little
Traveler" in Geneva for lunch when I thought only rich
people could go there. My mother never took me or told me
any different.
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I will never forget the first day I went to see Esther, I was
wearing jeans, a pressed sailor blouse and white
moccasins. She asked me if I'd eaten lunch, I hadn't so she
called the Traveler. Well I told her I couldn't go there as I
didn't own a mink coat. She threw back her head and
laughed a hardy laugh while holding me close to her telling
me sweetly that all you have to be is clean. She said we are
going for lunch, or rather she called it tea. She had ordered
tea sandwiches, and some kind of dessert tray, I was so in
awe of everything I don't remember eating at all.
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This wonderful woman opened up a world my mother was
keeping from me. I was brought up with manners but never
a chance to use them out somewhere I felt I never would be
welcome.
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When I married Esther helped me through it and later when
I divorced she helped me get on with my life, no lectures.
Instead she bought paintings she had me do especially for
her to help with my bills. She also loaned me money to pay
taxes on my house that first year I was divorced. My mom
wouldn't give me a loan. She said they would buy the house
and rent it to me. No way I said.
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Esther helped me to keep that house, which I owned for 30
years. I had one payment left when my uncle Ed, her
husband called me to say Esther had fallen down at their
home while getting out of the car on Thanksgiving night.
They had been in Chicago all day at his sisters.
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Esther didn't make it. She had a massive heart attack right
there. She was so heavy all Ed could do was cover her with
blankets as he couldn't pick her up.
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My friend and mentor was gone in seconds. My heart
almost broke especially for Uncle Ed as he and Esther
were so close. They were Chicago born & Esther had a
milliner shop (made hats) on Michigan Ave and Chestnut
St, for years before they moved to Geneva, right across the
street from " The Little Traveler" I might add. She lived to
see all of my three children. she was also God Mother to
my youngest. He was about 6 or 7 when Esther died.
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When I was ready to pay them the rest of the taxes I'd
borrowed the year before. Uncle Ed, bless his heart, waved
the last payment off as it was Esther's money and he didn't
need it. He gave me back a painting I'd done for Esther and
some black & white prints to start my own black & white
gallery. The other paintings were taken from Ed's home
while at the funeral for his beloved wife. He was going to
return them to me as a wish of Esther's. I never got the
paintings back.
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If you ever want someone to have something, please give it
to them in person before you get too ill to do it. My sweet
Esther never had that chance. I didn't even know she was
planning on doing this, until Uncle Ed told me. So even in
death she was thinking of me. I am sorry to relate Uncle Ed
was trying to get the jewelry that was taken along with the
paintings from his sister when he had a heart attack in
Chicago while driving his car. He went over a curb and got
caught between two trees. He died there. This was about 6
months after Esther died. I felt he died from a broken heart.
This wonderful couple enriched my life one hundred
percent, I only hope I brought some joy into theirs, as they
never had any children. May God be Blessing them in
Heaven at this very moment. I love them dearly and miss
them still.
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Esther was bigger than life itself! She was my HERO.
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Kay Mitchell
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About the writer: Evelyn lives in Mo. and has three grown
children. She and her husband are retired and live with five
cats and three parrots. Evelyn says her passions are
gardening and art.
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A Talk with the Lord
by Maria |
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Last night I lay in bed awake,
My mind full of different matters,
Going over past mistakes,
And how my life's been scattered.
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I thought about the time I gave,
To God my heart and soul,
Then how I strayed away from Him,
After He had made me whole.
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I thought about so many times,
Again and again I tried,
To make myself let go of sin,
Myself I did despise.
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How could I ever allow myself,
To join in godless chatter,
To tell "white" lies and gossip,
Another's life to shatter.
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To turn away a neighbor,
To hurt a loving friend,
To discourage my dear children,
And bring my own life to an end.
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I pondered all these things and more,
When I distinctly heard my name,
At once I recognized the voice,
And I was full of shame.
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But I answered quickly,
"Lord, I am here."
And He began to speak with me,
He gently whispered in my ear.
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He said, "I love you always,
No matter what you've done,
But you must change your ways,
And follow my Dear Son."
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"I AM your power and your strength,
I AM the Light within you,
And though the light may fade at times,
The darkness cannot bind you."
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"For all is under my control,
And nothing works without Me,
And all I do is for your good,
My child, do you now see?"
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I answered, "Yes, Lord,
Now I see, from You I'll never part,
Forgive me Lord for all my ways,
And cleanse my aching heart."
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"I believe You'll never leave me,
And I know how deep Your love,
I know my sins are forgiven,
And I'm covered in Your blood."
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"Though I at times may fail you,
you are still with me each day,
To help me up, to start again,
As I grow along the way."
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"I love you Lord, no words can say,
What I feel within my heart."
And Hesaid to me, "Child, obey Me,
Right here, right now, let's start."
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Maria Urso
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