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BAREFOOT ANGEL
by Ruth E. |
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| | I was about 8 years old at the time this happened. I was
sick at home and in bed, by myself, as my parents were at
work. My older brothers were in school. The house was
quiet, as I didn't have the television or radio on. I was going
to take a nap.
| | I heard footsteps in the hallway, like bare feet coming down
the hall. I was alone in the house, I know I was, as all the
doors were locked, and everyone else was gone to work or
school. I got real scared, and called out "who's there?"
| | Well, of course no one answered, but I didn't hear bare feet
on the tile floor again. When I told my mom about it that
afternoon, she said I was just imagining things cause the
house was quiet. Being eight years old, I believed her, but
as I get older, I really believe it was my guardian angel.
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| | Ruth E.
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INTERVENTION
by Sharon Bryant |
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| | It was a couple months after my son Andy died. He was
killed in an accident at the age of five. After his death I found
myself crying continuously, seven days a week, twenty
hours a day. I could not stop. I couldn't cope. I couldn't
sleep. The pain was so intense it took all I could do to
breathe.
| | I woke up one morning and started crying the minute I
opened my eyes as I'd done since the day he'd died. This
was the day I decided that though I knew it was wrong, I
could not live like this anymore. My family was worried
about me. They wanted me to see a psychiatrist. My
husband and I didn't even speak to one another, each of us
wrapped up in our own little world, not letting the other one
in. I decided to take my life that day when my husband left.
| | He left for work, I managed to get to the drugstore and buy a
pack of single edge razor blades. I knew I had plenty of
time, that when my husband got home, I'd be "gone." I
wrote a short note to him telling him I could not live without
my son any longer, that the pain was getting worse with
each day. I told him I had no purpose to go on any longer. I
laid down in my bed, put the note on the nightstand, and I
opened the razor blades. It was a cold snowy day in
December. I lived on an eighty-acre farm, with no neighbors
close by. My bedroom had two windows, one over the head
of the bed, and one to the left of the bed. I closed the
shades before I laid down. I am a bleeder, and I knew I
would go fast. I regretted the sight my husband would find,
but I was at the point, I didn't care about what he'd feel. I
only knew I could not live with the pain I had day in and day
out and be able to function.
| | I owned my own business which is a seasonal business
and I was in my off season months when my son died. I felt
useless. I felt no one could ever understand what I felt. Or
how hard it was for me to even get out of bed in the
mornings, let alone function all day. And truthfully, I just
wanted to be with my son.
| | I had been raised Catholic. I knew it was wrong to take my
own life. But the pain seemed to block out all that I knew.
And I really just didn't care anymore.
| | I raised my left hand in the air, I had the razor blade in my
right, and I remember I said, "Forgive me God, but You've
given me a cross too heavy to bear." I was ready to make
my move when this voice came from of no where and
called my name. I hesitated, wondering who was there. I
knew no one was in the house and surely no one was on
the property. With the shades pulled, even had there been
someone on the property, they couldn't see in a window.
| | I again got ready to make my move and again the voice
called my name, louder, more intense that time. I stopped,
and one more time, in the softest voice I've ever heard, I
can't even explain it, it said my name again.
| | Then suddenly this thought came into my head. "Go in the
living room and turn on the TV." I remember shaking my
head wondering why would I think that and what was going
on, who is this? Whose voice is this? And suddenly the TV
thought came again, telling me to go turn on the TV. I
remember I even said out loud, "I'm NOT going to turn on
the TV." And then, and the only way I can explain this is to
say it was invisible hands, literally pushed me off my bed. I
fell on the floor and I got scared then.
| | I ran down the hallway, into the living room, and turned the
TV knob on. My television was the old kind. When you
turned it on, it didn't get a picture right away, but a dot and
the dot would enlarge then the picture came across the
screen from the dot. It always took a good minute to warm
up.
| | When I turned the knob on that day, there stood a telephone
number and it said " SUICIDE PREVENTION." It just stayed
on the TV. It never moved. I stared at it. I sat down on the
couch, and put my hands over my eyes and started crying. It
was a couple of minutes later, I looked up to the television
and the number was still there. I knew then that the voice I'd
heard was someone not on this earth. I knew then that I
was not meant to take my life.
| | I called that phone number and I was in front of the
television when I dialed it. The minute a lady's voice
answered, my TV went blank. The woman stayed on the
phone with me for over three hours, as I cried and cried
telling her I could not cope with my son's death. She
convinced me there was help. She stayed on that phone
with me and she told me to get a clock, set it in front of me
and every few minutes, she'd say "See, you've made it
another three minutes and you'll make it through the day."
| | She told me to get my coat on, walk outside (after giving me
directions) and to drive the fifteen miles to a building where
she said help would be waiting when I arrived there. I did. I
attended my first and only actual meeting of a bereaved
parent group called First Sunday. I did not get "healed" that
night. I didn't feel much better when I left than when I'd
arrived. But I learned one thing that night. I learned that I
was not alone, that many, many other parents were living
with the same kind of pain.
| | Today, after all these years, I work with a bereaved parent
group. I talk to parents who have no hope, who can't see
tomorrow come and I tell them they will make it. I tell them
the truth - that it's hard, very hard, but with faith, they will find
they can smile again one day.
| | You be the judge of whose voice I heard that day in my
bedroom. Some say it was a guardian angel. Some say it
was God. In my heart, I believe God spoke to me. All I know
is that whoever it was, I was not meant to leave this earth
that day. It was a long time until I could begin to find myself
what I called, acting normal again. But I have never wanted
to try and take my life again since that day.
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| | Sharon Bryant
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To this day, Sharon continues to work with parents who
have suffered losses similar to her own. She writes
innumerable letters and counsels individuals.
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DADDY'S GIRL
by Sue |
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| | The biggest loss of my life was the death of my father six
years ago. I cried and cried and then cried more. I don't
think I got out of bed for several days. I felt my life was over
and there was no sense in living anymore. My father and I
were so close. Being one of four children, I was "Daddy's
Girl" and he and I were so close. He suffered a massive
stroke four years before he died and I became his caregiver
along with my mother. The stroke was horrible but it gave
us so much special time together to talk about everything
and anything.
| | You see, my father was on city council and was Vice-
president of his local union for a glass manufacturing plant
in Ohio. He also loved to golf. There were times I felt like I
had to make an appointment to see him, he was so busy.
| | He was left paralyzed on his left side so he needed much
care and rehabilitation. I am so grateful for those four years
with him. We laughed, cried and did many things we would
have never been able to do if God had not slowed him
down and I am so grateful for the memories.
| | After his death I used to go to bed praying that God would
let me talk to him just once more and tell him I loved him so
much and missed him. I guess God knew that my Dad
knew these things, because it was several years before my
Dad returned to me.
| | I was in bed, just arousing from a sleep and there beside
me was my Dad standing and he looked so young and so
healthy and he was smiling so big. He just looked at me
and smiled and nodded his head to say that everything was
"OK" with him. I didn't know what his visit was about but I
was grateful cause it made me happy to know he was OK.
| | Several weeks later, my mother called me and out of the
clear blue sky she said she wanted to come and live with
my husband and me. I was shocked. It was puzzling that a
woman as alert and young as mom would want to give up
some of her independence. Mom was not yet 70 years old.
| | Mom moved in and several months later, it was then that I
needed the brain surgery. Somehow when I think about all
of this, Dad was still looking out for Mom and me. My
mother was a godsend to have after the surgery. She
stayed with us for about two years and one day announced
she was moving out. Again I was shocked but she moved
into a darling apartment and set up house. Within two
weeks of moving into her apartment she began
complaining of back pain. To make a long story short, mom
was diagnosed with lung cancer with metastasis to the
brain and had six tumors in the brain. There was no hope.
She lived approximately four weeks after that. I then moved
into her apartment and stayed with her till her death.
| | Funny, even after death our loved ones help us so much
when we allow them to. To those that don't believe, they are
the unlucky ones.
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| | Sue
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| We know that even at the saddest of times, and in the most
delicate of situations something humorous will occur. That
is what happened to our next writer.
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WE REALLY SHOULD BURY DAD
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After my father-in-law died he was cremated and the family
planned to have a special mountain ceremony to spread
the ashes. We had put it off a bit. One day I noticed a
cardboard box in the back of my car. I kept thinking that it
was probably a fishing reel that my husband, Mike, had
bought without telling me.
| | For a few weeks I drove around with this box in my car.
Finally, one day I checked out the box only to discover that it
contained the "last remains of Larry Smith" (my father-in-
law). I freaked out and then very gingerly carried the box into
our apartment and placed it on the middle of the table as
though it was precious china. I had been driving around
with my father-in-law in my back seat for how long and Mike
had never mentioned it!
| | It turns out that Mike's mom had not picked up the ashes of
her husband for such a long that the funeral home no
longer wanted to be responsible for them and Mike had to
pick them up. After that the ashes then sat in his Mom's
closet for months. Talk about procrastination!
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A BIRTHDAY HELLO FROM CLARENCE
by Lois Taylor |
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| | After we moved from British Columbia to Nova Scotia I used
to wonder "does Clarence know where we are?" He had
died in 1979 when we were still living in British Columbia.
| | It was October and our son, Clarence and his dear
girlfriend had just got engaged. They drove out and spent a
wonderful Thanksgiving with us In British Columbia. They
both had jobs in Edmonton, in Alberta and were returning
home when their van was hit by a drunken driver. Both
Clarence and his girlfriend were killed instantly. We loved
his girlfriend so much and it was as though we had lost two
of our children that day!
| | I truly believe that there is life after death and Clarence has
communicated with me on a number of occasions since
that fateful day.
| | I so remember one particular morning, after his death. I
was in the bathroom when I heard a very clear "MOM." I
went out into the kitchen and again heard "MOM."
| | Often my husband calls me mom so I thought he may have
come to the door and called me so I went out to his shop. I
asked him why he called and then left. He said he had not
left the shop and had not called me. As I walked back to the
house I realized it was December 9th. This was Clarence's
birthday.
| | I believe he was telling me "where you are, I am." I think
Clarence chose that particular date so I would really know it
was him. I feel truly blessed that he comes through to me
and I thank God for it.
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| | Lois Taylor
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WE'VE GOT THE FAITH
by Rachel Jones |
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| | These next few stories are a collection by Rachel Jones
and they demonstrate that God sees each of us as
individuals worthy of his constant guidance, and protection.
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| | THE SHADOW OF PROTECTION | |
| | My sister-in-law was staying with her fiancé's family during
one of the hurricanes in 1996 (Bonnie or Floyd, I don't
remember which) and she had JUST gone to bed.
Everything happened at once. A tree crashed through her
bedroom window but at the same time, she screamed
because of the shadow of a "person" she SAW. This
person, or shadow that was standing over her, she now
realizes was an angel protecting her.
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| | THE EARLY WARNING | |
| | My husband was gone on the boat last night and it was
after midnight when my phone rang. I picked up the phone
and no one said anything. So I hung up the phone and it
immediately started ringing again. Well, at this point, I was
getting a little ill and nervous because my son and I were
alone. Again, I picked up the phone and no one said
anything. So I spewed off saying "Look, buddy, if you've got
something to say, SAY IT!! If not, then quit calling'! I
continued on to say, " if this is NOT a prank call, I can't hear
you so call back in a few minutes." I hung up the phone and
start thinking.
| | We have that $25 a month and weekend calls are free. My
mom rings me once on the weekends and I call her back.
Thinking about this I decided to check with mom. So I
called her, "Hey, Ma... did you ring me?"
| | She said "no, why?"
| | And I told her about the ringing phone and then the silence
on the other end of the line. Then she says, "I'm glad you
called. I want to tell you something."
| | Mom simply asked me if I was going anywhere that day and
if I was to be careful.
| | I said, "okay ... why?"
| | She went on to tell me that she had a "fear" for me and
was concerned about me getting in a car accident today. So
I told her I'd be careful if I went anywhere and wouldn't travel
unless I needed to.
| | That same evening, I needed to go get groceries and had
decided to rent a movie. AJ and I were on our way to the
video store when a car bolted right out in front of us. I
slammed on the brakes and headed for the snow. Of
course, we were sliding on ice.
| | We missed the other car, BARELY. You can't tell me God
didn't have a hand in that! I was warned ahead of time.
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| | CHECK THE DOOR | |
| | One night as my mother was preparing to go to a Lady's
Meeting she heard something at the back door. When she
went to open the door something said, "don't open the
door." She stopped in mid stride and thought about what
had just occurred. Again she reached for the doorknob and
again she heard the voice, "don't open the door." This time
she heeded the voice and walked away.
| | The next day, when mom was leaving for work she locked
the door and turned to go to the car. She again heard a
voice. This time she was told to "check the door." She went
back to the door, jiggled it a bit to test that it was indeed
locked and within seconds the supposedly locked door
opened! At this point she realized that someone had been
tampering with the locks!
| | GOD was looking out for Mom.
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| | TO PLOW OR NOT TO PLOW | |
| | We live in Sault Ste. Marie by the lake. On this one particular
night we had to contend with six to ten inches of snow. It
was late at night and I was out with the snowplow. I wanted
to get the snow removal done as my husband had to leave
for work at 4:15 that morning.
| | I was plowing and getting close to the garage when I heard
an audible voice. My first thought was that my husband was
trying to get my attention so I stopped plowing. I looked
around but no one was there. I thought I'd just get back to
more plowing and glanced down to suddenly notice an
electrical cord . Had I not heard the voice I never would have
stopped nor seen the cord and I definitely would have
connected with it! I thanked God for stopping me because
there is no doubt in my mind that God spoke to me that
night.
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| | WE'VE GOT THE FAITH | |
| | My grandfather began preaching the gospel I'm guessing
sometime in the middle to late 1940s. And let's face it,
being a little country back-woods preacher wasn't a get rich
career in those days. In the 1950s their children were born
(four - one was stillborn) and they traveled often with
children doing homework in the car on the way to Church.
| | I remember one story where a window was either broken or
couldn't be rolled up and my grandmother had to hold a
baby's blanket up to keep the rain out. Talk about
DEDICATION!!
| | The stories I mainly remember them telling are the ones
where they had eaten the last bite of food in the house.
There wasn't a dime to buy groceries. That would be the
time that there would be a knock at the door. Someone, a
friend, a neighbor, would be at the door, with an armful of
groceries. God always supplies the need!!
| | There is another story that is so sweet and funny. Once on
the way home from a particular revival, the children (my
mom and her two brothers) were in the back of the car
begging to stop for ice cream. They said "We want some
ice cream, but we know we're not going to get it."
| | It was at this point that my granddaddy said to ask some
other night. He added that when they did ask they needed
to also say "WE'VE GOT THE FAITH!!" He wanted the
children to know that they did indeed need to have faith. The
following night (or a time shortly there after) church was just
letting out and people were shaking hands as they left. It
was during this hand shaking that a man slipped a five-
dollar bill into my granddaddy's hand.
| | I'm sure you've guessed the rest of the story. On the way
home the three children asked for ice cream and said,
"AND WE'VE GOT THE FAITH!!" Of course they got their ice
cream.
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| | Rachel R. Jones
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| | Rae describes herself as a very "blunt" person, but "I try to
be polite all at the same time. I'm very passionate with my
morals and love to be near people who love and SERVE
God. I try to be polite but am very firm when it comes to my
beliefs and don't compromise my position."
| | Rae is a stay-at-home mom at 23 years of age with one
son who is two. Rae and her husband, Tim are hoping for
more children in the near future. Tim is an Electrician's
Mate Chief in the Coast Guard and she thinks he is a
wonderful husband.
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